Monday, March 15, 2021

Story

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I had a lump show up on my neck overnite in the month of March 00 and everything in my life was about to change (although I didnt realize it at the time). I went to see my primary care doctor and he diagnosed paratitis (mumps) and gave me a week of antibiotics. This was a relief to me because the lump felt hard and rubbery to me which I had read was an indication of cancer. After two weeks however the lump wasnt getting any better and I was getting scared, but I decided to refill the prescription and not seek another opinion (fearing the worst I guess). It was that next weekend when the lump went to the size of a baseball and became extremely painful. I went to the emergency room and it was so packed I waited for hours before seeing a doctor who gave me tylenol and sent me home with the name of a ENT doctor. My wife brought me to the ENT the next day and he put me in the hospital with a diagnosis of an abscess. The head of infectious deseases and the ENT worked on me with steriods and antibiotics and it worked somewhat as the lump went down the pain was better. The ENT operated on my neck and tried to drain the area, but he said he didnt really see anything. After a week they sent me home for Easter and it got worse again over the weekend. I went in to the ENT again on Monday and he scheduled another surgery for the following day. I was given assurances through out this ordeal that it wasnt cancer, but my gut was telling me this didnt make sense. The surgery was performed on that Tuesday and when I woke up in recovery my wife was there and told me they had found lymphoma. Believe it or not I was almost relieved to know the truth and was ready to fight it. I was more worried about how my wife and kids would deal with it. My wife, it turned out, was much stronger than I ever realized and was my biggest support. The outpouring of prayers and messages was also very heartwarming, but my odyssey had just begun. I started treatment with an oncologist that my ENT recommended in April. He told me that it was stage one and a fast growing cancer that they had a good success rate for cure (5%). I went throught sessions of chemotherapy, which made me somewhat sick and rundown and 5 treatments of radiation to my neck. I continued working throughout most of this time and thought everything was going great when I started having some lower back pain. This got to the point that I was having trouble staying at work all day and even sleeping was difficult. My radiation oncologist ordered a CAT scan for my back and they told me I had a slipped disk. I was given pain medication for this and I continued with my treatment. My wife however noticed that I was not myself, I was irritable and argumentative. When I missed my last treatment and didnt even know I had one is when she insisted I go to the doctor again. My parents were here throughout this episode as well because it was around my daughters th birthday. I actually dont have any memory of this time because of what I was battling, but people close to me knew there was something wrong as my weight had ballooned up to my heaviest and then I lost 0 pounds in a week. It turned out after many scans and tests that my cancer had moved into my brain and I had a tumor that was 5cm by 4cm. After so many stumbles my wife and family made the decision to move me to the local cancer center where we had meet a doctor previously on a nd opinion. She was/is a great person who I believe saved my life. The cancer center was full so it took several days to get me in and moving toward a treatment plan. This time my doctors confirmed my diagnosis with Sloane-Kettering and the Mayo clinic and a plan was put in motion. I had surgery on my head to put in a resevoir to deliver medicine to my tumor (the tumor was not operable). The only alternative was radiation, but was not preferred. I was told later that I was only the 10th case in the nation where this had happened (based on my age and stage of cancer). This was a really strange period in my life as I dont have any real memories. My whole existence was out-of-body, like I was watching someone else going through tests and procedures, but it wasnt me. It was like a dream that I couldnt wake up from. The day I remember finally coming out of the haze was when my doctor came to me and said, I have great news for you...your brain tumor has shrunk 50 percent after just one treatment! I looked at her and then my wife and family and said, I have a brain tumor? You might think that it would have been shocking to me, but it wasnt for some reason. I think that since I have no memory of the negative diagnosis that it has helped me because by the time I knew what was going on I was already getting better. I had a total of 5 chemotherapy treatments, including my brain and all over body and after the rd treatment my tumor had shrunk by 0 percent. I was told by my doctor that I will always have some residue of the tumor showing up on MRIs, but that this is common and they believe the tumor is gone. I finished this round of treatments in the October timeframe and was told I need to have a bone-marrow transplant for my best odds at preventing a re-occurance. I was lucky in that my bone-marrow was clean of cancer so I was able to use my own stem cells for transplant. It took days to collect enough stem cells for the transplant and I went in the beginning of December 0. I was determined to fight through all the side effects the doctors predicted for me (weight loss, sickness, mouth sores), but they were correct about everything and I spent Christmas in the hospital after receiving full body radiation and heavy chemotherapy. I actually lost another 0 pounds to make a total loss of 70-75 pounds throughout the process. Everyone now tells me how great I look and I always tell them that while the regimen I went through is effective for weight loss I wouldnt recommend it. I finally came home after a month in the hospital and was now on long term disability from work (not having worked for 6 months). I was told I had anywhere from 6 months to a year before I could go back. I was extremely lucky that my company thought enough of me to hold my job until I could come back. They didnt have to do that and I will always appreciate it. After the transplant I had several months of sickness to deal with to re-build my strength (blood transfusions, growth factor shots for my immune system, etc...). I had an additional full body scan months after the transplant and I was still clean. I did have some anxiety attacks as every time I went to see my doctor I would have back pain and wonder if my problems were returning. My doctor prescribed Paxil to help with this and it has actually worked wonders. She also challenged me after months to start doing something with my time and it worked on me as I started increasing my work load around the house. I started feeling better everyday and my strength is gradually coming back. I have recently gone back to work after being off for a year and it has really been great for me to see all the people again. In fact they had a very nice reception for me that more people than I expected came to. My wife and parents both became emotional as I told them about the celebration. It means alot to them because they have seen everything I have gone through. I have now been clean for about 8 months and I believe that I have beaten the cancer. I have changed much from the experience and believe I am a better person for it. I now try to enjoy everyday as much as possible and cherish my time with my family. I now know that when they say, Life is too short!, it really is true.


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