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In the United States, most people want to make a name for themselves. Whether it is to gain fame or pride, people are looking for an identity in America. In the course of one's life, the home is what greatly affects a person's identity. Using examples from two short stories, it can be seen that one's upbringing greatly affects the rest of his life in a search for identity in America.
Two Kinds tells a story about a young Chinese girl, Amy Tan (the author of the story) growing up in California. She was an ordinary young girl, she had not yet set any major goals in her life; but her mother felt different. Her mother "believed you could be anything you wanted to be in America" (100). With this mentality, she forced her daughter to become what she thought was a "'prodigy'"(100).
One of the first things her mother would have her do is watch Shirley Temple's old movies "as though they were training films" (100). This resulted in her mother's sending Tan to a beauty training school to get her hair cut like Shirley Temple. Then her mother began testing her on random facts using magazines "from people whose houses she cleaned"(101). This is when Tan first showing signs of boredom and disgust.
After a few months, her mother made her take up piano lessons because of something she saw on The Ed Sullivan Show. Her mother even bought Tan her own piano. Unfortunately, though, the person she ended up getting the lessons from was an old man who was deaf, so Tan was at a disadvantage when it came to actually learning the piano well. After a few weeks of attending lessons, her mother made her sign up for a local talent show. When it came time to perform, Tan could tell it was apparent, to not only herself but the audience as well, that she could not play the piano at all. After the show was over Tan says that her "mother's expression was what devastated me a quiet, blank look that said she had lost everything" (105).
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Later in Amy Tan's life when she was in her parents' house after her mother died, she saw the songs lying on the piano that she played in that talent show. She played the two pieces on the piano (a lot better than the way she played in the talent show), and it was at this moment she realized all these events as a child helped mold her into what she has become today. All the pressuring her mother put on her and all the work her mother made her go through helped Amy Tan form her own identity in America.
Courting A Monk tells the story of Katherine Min, a young Korean girl and her life-changing experience in college. But throughout the story, the reader can see it was family that had a great effect on her life.
Min's father was a very silent man. As she goes on to say "Words were not my father's medium . . .He limited himself to . . .the kinds of statements that required no answer, that left no opening for discussion or rejoinder" (106). This silence greatly affected Min's childhood where was she was not able to take in the lesson's that a normal, more verbal father would teach. The combination of strictness and silence that her father had is one of the factors that made her what she was in college. Before she left for college, her father said "'Study hard. Go to bed early. Do not goof off. And do not let the American boys take advantages'" (106). During her college years, she did the exact opposite of what her father told her to do.
When Katherine met Micah at college, she brought him over her house to have dinner with her family. Micah was an American who converted to Buddhism and just came back from studying in a monastery in the Himalayas. Min's father, on the other hand, was born into Buddhism but did not practice it anymore. So when she had Micah over, not only was her father upset that he was not Korean, but he tested him on Buddhism and started getting angry over the knowledge that Micah did not know. Eventually, Min "felt a rising irritation I could not place . . .at my own strange motives for having brought them together" (1041). Eventually, Katherine and Micah left the dinner.
Years have passed now and Katherine and Micah are married, but as Min said "My father refused to attend the wedding. He liked Micah, but he did not want me to marry a Caucasian" (1044).
Katherine Min's life was not held back by strong restrictions, but her Korean background and her family, mainly her father, had a strong effect on her life. She was not taught the basic lessons that any other father would teach, and that was one of the causes for her wild behavior in college. His quiet and strict mannerism created problems when Micah came over as well. If it were not for her father, though, her attitude towards Micah may have been different, or she might not even have met Micah in the first place if her father played more of a direct influence on her at the time. But because her father was the way he was, her identity was formed primarily around her father's indirect influence and the rest of her family life.
Everyone is looking for an identity, but one's identity isn't chosen. It is molded into a person through a number of factors and events that take place during life. In the case of Amy Tan, her mother played a big part in her life. And in the case of Katherine Min, her father played a big part. But whether it's more of a paternal influence or more of a maternal influence, family always plays a big part in one's identity.
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