Sunday, January 12, 2020

Checks!

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I woke up in a very strange place, one I don't recognize. I was in a long white gown, and I had no shoes on. The room I was in was very plain, and had only a bed. It looked like a hospital, and I had no idea why I would be there, so I figured it was a dream. I went back to my bed and went back to sleep. The next thing I heard was


"Checks," the lady called, "Time to wake up Corena".


"Checks?" I replied. "What are checks and why am I in this place?"


"Don't be silly," the lady told me. "You came in her last night, you don't remember?"


"No...." I responded.


I took a moment right then to think about why I was here. All I could remember was being at a party and having a great time. But then I remember my boyfriend Josh coming, and we had a fight. I thought I had just gone home after?


I looked down at my body and searched for any bruises any anything that might bring to a conclusion for why I am here. There was a bandage around my wrist. I didn't try to kill myself did I? This can't be happening! I couldn't remember how I did this, I must have been really drunk.


"Corena, its time to get up!" The lady said quite firmly. "Its time to come out for breakfast and take your meds."


Meds? Does that mean medications? I am not a crazy person!


I got up from my bed, and slowly walked over to the door, still confused about the whole ordeal. The lady introduced herself to me,


"Hi, my name is Joanne, and I will be your nurse for today, and the majority of your stay here at Sick Kids," she told me.


"All right," I answered. "But wait, my stay? How long will I be here for?"


"That all depends on you Corena," Joanne said. "But usually kids stay here for around a month."


A MONTH! I cannot stay here for a month! What will my friends think? What will Josh think? This cant be happening to me.


"Corena...Corena...Corena!" Joanne yelled.


"Yes, sorry Miss....I um....I was just day dreaming I guess," I answered. I was really out of it, they must have given me some medications when I came in. I feel really dazed, and unaware of things.


I was at the breakfast table, sitting with about 7 other girls, and other boys. I looked around at everyone, and noticed that this wasn't a very happy place. The girl sitting beside me was breaking apart her food into very small pieces and eating them very slowly. She also was trying to hide some of it in here clothing. I guessed that she was Anorexic right away. I thought it was very sad to see this. The boy on the other side of me was not eating anything, instead he was rearranging the food on his tray into very specific piles, which was quite odd to me. I noticed a lot of strange things that people were doing in here, and it made me feel somewhat uncomfortable. So I stood up, and started to walk away, back to my room.


"Corena!" One of the nurses called. "You must sit here until we are all done. If your not hungry, than here are your meds, you can go get a glass of water."


"Um, that's okay, I don't need any meds, I just feel like sleeping right now," I replied.


"I'm sorry Corena, but you must take these meds, they are doctors orders," she explained. "And going back to bed is not an option dear."


I guess I really had nothing to say after that, so I just sat back down. Joanne came over to where I was sitting, and gave me a little cup with different capsules in it. I stared at the cup for awhile, and finally took the medication out of the cup into my hand.


"Don't take it!" Yelled one of the patients. "Its gonna kill you!"


"What?" I replied with hesitation.


"Corena, these meds are simply to relax you and make you feel better." She replied. "Adam has a fear of pills, that's all".


I took all of the pills, and Joanne asked me to look into my mouth after. I guess they have to monitor everyone to see if they actually swallow them.


After breakfast we all went to the recreation area, where there was a TV, a Play Station, a computer, and lots of arts and crafts. At the back of the room, there were 5 very large windows that viewed the whole interior of the hospital. I went over and looked down at all the commotion.


That's when it hit me that I was actually admitted in a hospital. I have to get out of here, this is not where I belong! At that point at left the recreation area, and went back to my room, which was not allowed at this time, but I had to leave this skitso ward. I got to my room, and before you knew it, Joanne was in my room too.


"Don't you get any privacy around here! Geeez, I left for minutes and you are already chasing me. I am not a screw up, its a mistake that I am even here! I'm leaving right now, and you cannot stop me Joanne." I yelled, with about the most rage I have ever used.


"I know your upset Corena, but this is a safe place. And this is where your going to be for the next month or two. You and your parents signed you in here last night, so you are under our care now. I'm sorry dear. Now come with me, you have Group Therapy now.


"Group Therapy?" I replied. "You MUST be joking me right?


And if things couldn't get any worse, she was not joking. I had to sit in a room with all the kids, and have a Group Therapy class. I didn't speak the whole time. Instead I just sat there listening to the Therapist ask questions to everyone. Then she got to me. It was my first session, and she already knew all about me it seemed. How does everyone all of a sudden think they now your life story when I have been in here for under 1 hours. This is insane.


"Corena, you don't have to feel uncomfortable here, this is a safe haven. Nobody will judge you." The Therapist told me.


"Well, I just don't think its anyone's business to why I am here. And nobody should be forced to talk if they don't want to."


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