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¡§Grandma!¡¨ shouted little Sandy as Grandma was gently wheeled into the old folk's home. ¡§Flowers!¡¨ said Sandy as she pointed her finger towards some bright red hibiscus. Grandma made a funny twitch with the right corner of her lips, much to Sandy's amusement.
¡§Grandma has been bed-ridden for the last five years¡Kand I have tried my best to keep her in my custody but¡KI'm only seventeen.,¡¨ said Jerald to the supervisor of the old folk's home, Madam Liew. Jerald's Grandma was a victim of abuse by her daughter-in-law, Jerald's step-mother. His step-mother was a cruel woman who wanted nothing more to do with the old lady. She found it a nuisance to look after the paralyzed Grandma, who suffered a stroke and had Parkinson's disease. ¡§What about your father? I mean, why didn't the court put your Grandma under his care?¡¨ asked Madam Liew. ¡§He's¡Kerm¡Kan alcoholic¡K¡¨ answered Jerald quietly. All of a sudden, Madam Liew wished she had not been so inquisitive. After a few moments of awkward silence, Jerald finally said something, ¡§so, I'll come by and visit her everyday¡Kif possible. Call me immediately if anything happens to Grandma.¡¨ Madam Liew nodded.
¡§Bye Grandma!¡¨ waved Sandy. Grandma did not respond. Jerald hugged Grandma and kissed her goodbye before picking Sandy up in his fine strong arms. Grandma watched silently as the two made their way out. What left in her were the memories of abuse and some faded sweet reminiscences of her good grandson and granddaughter. Madam Liew wheeled Grandma back into the home, wanting to help her get use to life in the old folk's home.
While on the way home, Sandy asked Jerald, ¡§Why didn't Grandma come home with us, Jerald?¡¨ Jerald pretended to look out of the window of the bus. He did not know how to answer or if he wanted to answer Sandy. Sweet innocent little Sandy. What do she know? She was barely six years old and she must not know anything about her drunkard father or her mother in jail or¡K¡¨Jerald?¡¨ prompted Sandy again. Jerald pursed his lips and tightened his arms around Sandy's tiny waist and continued looking out of the window. Sandy knew her brother well. She knew that if Jerald didn't want to answer questions he didn't like, he wouldn't. So there sat Sandy in Jerald's lap, keeping quiet for a long, long time.
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¡§Shall we visit Grandma tomorrow?¡¨ asked Jerald suddenly when they alighted the bus. ¡§Really?¡¨ said Sandy, suddenly brightening up with her cheeks flushing with happiness. Jerald smiled upon seeing his little sister so happy. ¡§Yeah, I promise,¡¨ said Jerald bending down and holding up his last finger to Sandy. Sandy took his finger and dribbled her saliva all over it. Jerald looked on with disgust, but it was their way of making, and keeping, promises.
Upon reaching home, Jerald opened the door to hear some plates smashing in the kitchen and clumsy collisions against the furniture. It didn't take him long to sense that his father was home. He quickly shooed the frightened Sandy into her room. ¡§Jerald, who was that?¡¨ whispered Sandy. Jerald motioned her to sit still and keep very quiet in her room while he investigated.
¡§Dad, what the hell do you think you are doing at this time of the day in this house?¡¨ asked Jerald in an unnaturally cool voice. He was trying very hard to calm himself as he did not want Sandy to know what was going on.
¡§Son, come, come and drink with me. Where's Sandy? Ask her to come and join us too!¡¨ sang Mr. Lim. ¡§I don't have time for this, okay, dad. All I want to know is why you are home drinking when you should be working, and why can't I have some peace around here?¡¨ said Jerald, this time louder, and nearly yelling. ¡§I¡KI'm¡Kout of job¡K.Look, I want you to understand ¡V ¡¨ Jerald did not wait for his father to finish, he carefully stepped over the broken plates and took hold of his dad by the shoulders, yelling into his face, ¡§I don't give a DAMN! I don't care! I don't wanna understand! All I want is Grandma home, and you outta my life!¡¨ Jerald left his dad standing in the middle of the kitchen, stunned. It was for a moment before Mr. Lim suddenly became more sober and angry that his son showed no respect for him. ¡§I AM your father! Whatever I say, you listen, my orders, you do!¡¨ he roared. ¡§Yeah, yeah, whatever! I don't have a father like you!¡¨ he spat.
Grandma lay on her bed, feeling very uneasy. She couldn't move but she had a button in her hands to buzz for the nurse to come. She missed Sandy and Jerald. She couldn't quite remember why she was here in the first place. All she could remember was a woman beating her constantly with kicks, punches and cane. That woman was horrible! She wouldn't let Grandma eat. There were many times when she felt very uncomfortable and agitated. Her bladder felt like bursting but the horrible woman refused to bring her to the toilet.When Grandma finally let loose, the woman would grumble and protest and cane her. It was her grandson who helped to clean her up.
Suddenly, Grandma realized she had dirtied herself again. She reluctantly pressed the buzzer in her palm.
A petite nurse came in a short while later. Grandma expected a grunt or something insulting. Instead, the nurse flashed her a wide smile. The nurse made a hasty exit after her job was done. Grandma tried to smile but the nurse left so quickly that Grandma couldn't even try. Not long after, Grandma felt lonely again. If only she could move¡K
¡§Grandma!¡¨ Sandy shouted as she ran into the room. Jerald held his breath, the place stunk with strong medical smell. As the two of them neared Grandma, she almost reached out for Sandy¡Kwell, almost. Her movements were very restricted, so she lay there still. Grandma tried to smile again. This time, she could feel her cheeks muscles stretching a tiny bit. ¡§I missed you!¡¨ cried Sandy as she threw her arms around Grandma's neck. The stretch on Grandma's cheeks slowly crept down to her jaws. She hoped that Sandy could see a difference. ¡§Grandma, are you okay?¡¨ asked the concerned Jerald, seeing Grandma's rigid expression, especially her cheeks. Grandma blinked twice, indicating that there was nothing wrong with her. Jerald shrugged his shoulders and continued helping Grandma to adjust her bed.
Grandma took a good look at Jerald. Now, was that young man her grandson? Oh no¡K she couldn't quite remember his name. ¡§Jerald, can you give Grandma my card, please?¡¨ Oh yes, Jerald. Grandma stared blankly at the card Sandy had made. It was childish picture of five stick figures and lots of hearts. Although it wasn't as good as Vangough's or Leonardo's, it was heart-warming.
Jerald grabbed the nearest chair and sat down beside Grandma. He sighed deeply and ran his fingers through his hair. ¡§Grams,¡¨ he started, ¡§Dad¡Khe and his wife wanted you dead. They were after your insurance money. That was why you had stroke in the first place, right? You were so angry and all¡K¡¨ Grandma squeezed her eyes tight. Yes, that was true. She'd never dreamed of her own son collaborating with an outsider, to get her money. Luckily, she was smart enough to change the beneficial names to both Sandy and Jerald.
¡§So, Grandma, please¡Kdon't die¡Kdon't let them get the money,¡¨ ended Jerald. He didn't know what else to say. Grandma probably doesn't understand anyway. ¡§I'm gonna look for a job because Dad's funds are running low, you know, all those cash squandered away on his drinks. I have to look after Sandy, so I couldn't come and visit you as often if I get a job,¡¨ said Jerald, shifting around in his chair. Grandma looked at him painfully. Only seventeen and he had to balance school, work and family. She felt like dying so she could help him out. At that instant, she thought of a plan.
Jerald got out of his chair and waved goodbye to Grandma. After they left, Grandma looked around for a sharp object. A fruit knife lay on a table right beside Grandma's bed. Grandma wanted to make it a point to move her fingers and arms at least a little everyday, to make them come alive again. She remembered her doctor telling her she could recover, but the physio-therapy would cost a lot. Grandma decided it was time to teach herself how to move. Day after day, Jerald's situation would not be any better than the day before, until he was threatened to drop out of school, if he couldn't pay his school fees.
One night, Grandma felt she was strong enough to reach out for the fruit knife, which was now on the breakfast table right in front of her. She grabbed it, trembling and struggling to hold it. She made a quick slice on her wrist. Nothing. She'd need more strength now. Gathering all the strength she had, Grandma made a forceful slash on her left wrist. Blood. That was the last thing she wanted to see¡K
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